White House representatives today responded vigorously to recent comments made by President Bush to a UK paper that he had “regrets” about being perceived as a warmonger. On Tuesday, President Bush, currently on a tour through Europe, spoke to the London Times.
President Bush has admitted to The Times that his gun-slinging rhetoric made the world believe that he was a “guy really anxious for war” in Iraq. He said that his aim now was to leave his successor a legacy of international diplomacy for tackling Iran. In an exclusive interview, he expressed regret at the bitter divisions over the war and said that he was troubled about how his country had been misunderstood. “I think that in retrospect I could have used a different tone, a different rhetoric.” Phrases such as “bring them on” or “dead or alive”, he said, “indicated to people that I was, you know, not a man of peace”.
At the Daily Press Briefing today, White House Press Secretary Dana Perino responded to a question about the comments by saying, “We’re all a little puzzled. This does not sound like the President Bush we knew. It’s puzzling and there’s a lot of puzzlement around here today. We’re stumped, frankly. We’re left scratching our heads.”
Dan Bartlett, former White House Communications Director, said, “It was a perplexing comment, and we’re all a bit puzzled. Puzzled and stumped. Stumped and flummoxed. Flummoxed and shocked. Shocked and saddened. Saddened and heartbroken. Heartbroken and bewildered.”
When asked if he was angry at the president for the comments, Mr. Bartlett said, “Not angry. Disappointed.”
“I’m left scratching my head,” he added, “though that may be due to eczema.”
Former Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove characterized the president as a disgruntled former employee. “He was out of the loop, frankly. He wasn’t in the meetings, and he simply didn’t have the access to be making these types of wild accusations.” Rove added, “I’m puzzled. This is coming from out of left field, and I’m just a little perplexed. And bewildered. Did I say puzzled? I did? How about baffled?”
When asked for comment, former White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer simply kept repeating the words puzzled, perplexed, stumped, hurt, heartbroken and saddened in a rote, robotic voice, accompanied by a pronounced facial tic and the faint, acrid odor of singed electronic circuitry.
Update: Look, I’m not one to over-explain a joke, but this post may be a lot funnier (or at least make more sense) if you’ve seen this short film.
Happy Valley News Hour 
ugh, bullshit and humor indeed
The Cowboy left the barn door open, all the horses are running wild, the fox is in the hen house and his shotgun is in Iraq.
I’d say he left the Ranch in Ruins.
It WOULD be great if Bush writes a tell-all coloring book when he gets out of office.
Rove added: “…this doesn’t sound like Dubya. It really doesn’t. Not the Bush I have known for a long time…sounds like somebody else, it sounds like a left-wing blogger.”
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The Cowboy left the barn door open, all the horses are running wild, the fox is in the hen house and his shotgun is in Iraq.
I’d say he left the Ranch in Ruins.