The Smoking Gun reports that a 21 year old Amish man was arrested for sending lewd texts to a minor (not funny!). However, it did get me thinking about potential Amish pickup lines.
- Woulds’t thou deign to show me thy knee? Ankle? Booted foot?
- If I stated thou had child-bearing hips, woulds’t thou hold them against me?
- Thou lookst like a tall lukewarm glass of well water.
- Hast thou mashed potatoes with that shake?
- Heaven must be missing one stout, industrious, modestly attired angel.
- Thou makest my heart race like a poorly handled buggy.
- My heart is a wheat crop. Wons’t thou harvest it with hours of back-breaking labor?
- Thy bosom overflows like two grains silos in harvest season.
- Let’s pretend it’s Rumspringa.
- Is that you, Kelly McGillis?