The Smoking Gun reports that a 21 year old Amish man was arrested for sending lewd texts to a minor (not funny!). However, it did get me thinking about potential Amish pickup lines.
- Woulds’t thou deign to show me thy knee? Ankle? Booted foot?
- If I stated thou had child-bearing hips, woulds’t thou hold them against me?
- Thou lookst like a tall lukewarm glass of well water.
- Hast thou mashed potatoes with that shake?
- Heaven must be missing one stout, industrious, modestly attired angel.
- Thou makest my heart race like a poorly handled buggy.
- My heart is a wheat crop. Wons’t thou harvest it with hours of back-breaking labor?
- Thy bosom overflows like two grains silos in harvest season.
- Let’s pretend it’s Rumspringa.
- Is that you, Kelly McGillis?
[Props=Gawker]
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i saw this bumpersticker on a buggy once:
ass, grass, or cash–
beard rides free.
ptd
you do know that Amish don’t speak Olde English, right? they never use “thee, thou, hast” etc. These are obviously written by someone who knows nothing about Amish.