The Gangs of Massachusetts

Did you know that the FBI keeps a public database of all the names of gangs in the country, organized by state? It includes street gangs, prison gangs, and outlaw motorcycle clubs, and it makes for quite interesting reading.

I’m actually a member of two local gangs — The Jeff Tweedy Posse and the Route 116 Scalawags — and I’m happy to see that thus far we have escaped the scrutiny of the Feds. The Jeff Tweedy Posse is similar in spirit to England’s soccer hooligans, except in our case we bring the ruckus to Wilco shows. And by ‘bring the ruckus’ I mean we sit in our assigned seats and applaud politely after each song. Sometimes when things get especially crazy we hoot and holler. As for The Route 116 Scalawags, we run the protection racket in this ‘hood, all the way from the yoga studio to the Montessori school. So if you want to open a spin studio or a frozen yogurt place in Orchard Valley, best talk to the Scags first, lest there be an unfortunate accident down the line.

Anyway, I went through the FBI list and pulled out some of the coolest names. All of these are actual gangs active in Massachusetts (and one in Mississippi).

Trying Way Too Hard Gang:
Insane Blood Gang

Oddly Specific Gang:
1937 Dorchester Avenue

Huh? Gang:
Hellified Drama Click (active in Mississippi but I had to include them)

Classical Cred Gang:
Mozart

Loudon or Rufus Gang:
Wainwright

Genuinely Badass Gang:
Barrio Aztecas

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