The Charge of the Chickenhawk Brigade

Half a bag, half a bag,
Half a bag: Cheetohs!
Into the valley of CPAC
Rode the 300.

Forward the Chickenhawk Brigade!
Stoutest young wingnuts that God ever made!
In stain’d warmups their girth was b’decked
When into Spartan Marriott they checked.
From Malkin to Limbaugh to that fly Goldberg playa
CPAC in DC would be their Thermopylae!

For this year, it seemed, foul plans were a’brewin’
To Occupy CPAC as the wingnuts sat stewin’.
Which libtards might bumrush the halls and the stairs?
Maybe Soros or Maddow or one William Ayers?
Perhaps East Coast elites all snooty and arty?
Or both members of the New Black Panther Party?!

The wingnuts responded to Jonah’s clarion call
And left their mom’s basements for the first time since fall.
Subsisting on nothing but love for their country,
Plus roomservice cheeseburgs and snacks all and sundry.
Oh brave, unmarried Chickenhawk brigade!
They fight the foes that Marx & Mohammed made!

Islamofascists to the left o’ them
Islamofascists to the right o’ them (actually, no one is to the right of them)
Islamofascists in front o’ them

Theirs is not to reason why,
Theirs is but to whine & cry!
Into the valley of CPAC
Rode the 300.

This entry was posted in Humor, Original Content. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Charge of the Chickenhawk Brigade

  1. theuglymoose says:

    Hooray for Toy Soldiers!

  2. Impressive, and as I often find myself commenting on poetry blogs, I must return to reread and get all the deeper meanings and follow all the links…you so smart.

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