I’ve gotten with hot chicks as recently as just now

From Craiglist comes this completely reasonable and not at all creepy personal ad:

BEAT IT WITH A REAL JO-BRO – m4m

Date: 2010-05-23, 5:13PM EDT

I’m a serious bro looking for a equally/more serious bro with fancy footwork. The idea is to tie our wrists together ala the “Beat It” video and then each JO/knife fight in a profound spiritual act of consensual hetero awesomeness. I would have done this way sooner but have little faith in humanity.

Requirements:
-access to an abandoned warehouse
-old enough/built kinda awesome
-maintains good eye contact
-general intensity
-cool moves
-shades
-leather jackets ( I had to give the one in the pic back – long story, I can tell you when we finish)
-Bedazzler
-basic knowledge of knife/sword/bat fight etiquette (I can teach you what I know if you are pretty serious about art like me)
-can lift 80 lbs
-bachelor’s in something or equivalent experience
-not a narc

Whereas dudes/J-ing O are both undeniably awesome, I’m a straight bro. As in not gay. I just really love MJ and being open minded about new JO scenarios. We will basically play “Beat It” over and over again while we JO and dance, occasionally parrying/thrusting. Winner finishes the most times, but points will be awarded for finishing first/accuracy. If you’re the heter-bro I’m looking for, then we can JO furiously/competitively and then just hang or whatever. I’ve got laser tag too. I’m pretty serious about this. As in completely serious. If you touch my junk with anything but your own I will BF you in the M. Nerds/gays need not apply. I’M NOT GAY.

P.S. – And I’ve gotten with hot chicks as recently as just now.

“They told him don’t you ever come around here
Don’t wanna see your face, you better disappear
The fire’s in their eyes and their words are really clear
So beat it, just beat it”

The ad was accompanied by this awesome pic:

I sincerely hope this person found the connection he was seeking. JO-BROs are hard to find, let alone one with fancy footwork and access to a warehouse.

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7 Responses to I’ve gotten with hot chicks as recently as just now

  1. Oh. Wow.

    I’m reminded of that personal ad about wanting to get high on crystal meth and listen to Nickelback and sit around a fire and jerk off, accompanied with insistence about NOT GAY. Was that you who posted that?

  2. eileen says:

    I remember seeing that as well.

    Too bad it was his “little faith in humanity” that has delayed his fantasy coming to life. I’ll bet it isn’t as good. But then, well, you know, maybe, it could work.

  3. Mat Jacobson says:

    I will not accept this as real

  4. We each pine for the 80s in our own unique way.

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