Deck the Halls with Caterwauling

Here is a piece I wrote for Masslive on the War on Christmas.

‘Tis the Season (for the War on Christmas)

Here’s an easy experiment that you can do at home to decide for yourself whether there is a War on Christmas in this country. Easy experiment, anyone can do it. Are you ready?

Try to sit it out.

Really. Try to sit out Christmas. Go ahead. Just try. Crawl into bed in mid-November, cover yourself with quilts and blankets, stick your fingers in your ears and hum the 1812 Overture at full volume until January first. It won’t matter. The relentless tinkle of Christmas music will find a way to insinuate itself into your brainpan. There is no hole deep enough to escape the malevolent ear worm that is “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas.”

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5 Responses to Deck the Halls with Caterwauling

  1. You. Are. Completely. Right.

    For years I was a serious Christmas humbug. When I met my mother-in-law, she really helped me to see how it could be the most wonderful time of the year. (This year, I’m uninspired.) But during the years I hated, hated, hated the season, it was still goddamn impossible to get away from. Maybe all humbugs could have a yearly sojourn to, like, the wilds of New Zealand. At least the weather would be better…

  2. says:

    hello kristmas kamper,

    i think a war for christmas is a bad idea. we’ve already got a couple of those, right? but if that is what fox wants, we should give it to them or they’ll throw a tantrum.

    why did an ad for wall-mart appear when i clicked on the comment button? are you getting paid by wall-mart these days kamper? i do believe they’re responsible for this war everyone is talking about.

    ok, you have a holly jolly xmas, now, kamper.


    • Anonymous says:

      I don’t get any money from these ads and in fact I would have to pay WordPress to have them removes. It really burns my britches.

  3. Great article, you little elf, you! I especially like the use of words that fox news folks might not understand.

  4. says:

    wow, that makes you, like, word press’s bitch or something.


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