50 Performances that Ruined Movies

Okay, so TotalFilm has their 50 Performances That Ruined Movies, of which the top 20 are listed below (courtesy of Pajiba).

20. Chris Tucker, The Fifth Element

19. Sage Stallone, Rocky V

18. Elizabeth Berkley, Showgirls

17. Bruce Willis, Ocean’s 12

16. M. Night Shyamalan, The Lady in the Water

15. Jennifer Lopez, Gigli

14. Jon Voight, Anaconda

13. Mariah Carey, Glitter

12. Kevin Costner, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

11. Vinnie Jones, X-Men: The Last Stand

10. Denise Richards, The World is Not Enough

9. Tommy Lee Jones, Batman Forever

8. Morgan Freeman, Wanted

7. Madonna, Body of Evidence

6. Sean Connery, The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen

5. Andie MacDowell, Four Weddings And A Funeral

4. Tommy Wiseau, The Room

3. Orlando Bloom, Pirates of the Caribbean

2. Taylor Lautner, Abduction

1. Nic Cage, Wickerman

First of all, we need to distinguish between performances that utterly ruined an otherwise good movie (i.e., Sofie Coppola in Godfather III, Keanu Reeves in Dracula, Kevin Costner in Robin Hood) from campy performances in movies that would have been a mess no matter who had the role (Nic Cage in Wickerman, Sean Connery in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen).

And second of all, what in the high holy hell is the deal with #14?! Jon Voight’s Brando-meets-Speedy-Gonzalez performance is the only thing of any value in Anaconda. ‘Round these parts the line, “The reeever can kill ju in a tousand ways,” is still uttered with a reverence usually reserved for Jeff Tweedy lyrics.

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4 Responses to 50 Performances that Ruined Movies

  1. This list is wack. What on earth was good about Gigli that J.Lo ruined? Morgan Freeman was the only good thing about Wanted (even if he looked and acted like he didn’t belong there at all), and Body of Evidence was just a hot mess no matter who the hell was in it. And Batman Forever?? Please. Please.

  2. Lurker111 says:

    Chuck Norris–any movie that he’s ever appeared in.

  3. The reever can keel you in a thousand ways. Ah-greed. I thought that mash-up sucked, btw, mostly because it didn’t include that line, but for other reasons as well.

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