The lead letter to this week’s Savage Love:
I’m unemployed in Oregon and trying to come up with simple ways to make rent. My dear wife and I would like your opinion on the legality of selling my teenage son’s sweaty gym clothes online. It sounds rather skeezy, I realize, and I’m only half-joking here. If we had a nonsexual website with pictures that weren’t necessarily of my son, would that be buffer enough? Would this be seen as me whoring out the boy? He’s up for it—as long as he gets his cut—but could I go to jail for this? He is 14.
My advice: All three of you (letter writer, wife, kid) should report immediately to your nearest Reprogramming Center to have your brain functions completely wiped, because there’s a fatal error in the source code. I will say this, though: it’s an impressive accomplishment that the least creepy thing in this letter is the 14-year-old who’s perfectly willing to sell his undies to pedophiles as long as he gets his cut.