. . . ake!
I was sitting at my desk when the terror struck! The time? Just before two, Eastern Standard! Suddenly, it happened! The floor beneath my feet began to sway gently, so that at first I thought that either a caster had come off my office chair or I was having some sort of disorienting dizzy spell. But it was NEITHER! It was, in fact, an EARTHQUAKE!!!
As an earthquake veteran (that’s right, I survived the Great Cleveland Quake of 1986 — what are the odds?!), I knew just what to do: update Facebook! Then my 15-year-old daughter came into my office! I knew I had to console her!
Me: We just had an earthquake!
Daughter: Can I watch Dollhouse on Instant?
Me: Did you feel that? We just had an earthquake!
Daughter: So can I?
As usual, XKCD got there first.
Update: Buzzfeed has 20 inspiring pictures of the quake’s terrifying aftermath!
Update 2: More shocking photos of the carnage here.