About a month ago, tragedy struck our quiet suburban community. Some malicious individual, most likely a teenager, spray painted a huge penis on the street at the end of our block. As depicted, this particular penis was in a high state of arousal; indeed, it was captured at the moment of ejaculation. Now, it’s
hard difficult to tell from the photo, but this penis is big, at least the length of a small car, if one includes the ejaculate. In terms of orientation, the penis lays runs perpendicular to the flow of traffic, like the speed bump from hell. It looks like a snake sunning itself on the hot asphalt. Perhaps a Spitting Cobra.
About two weeks after it first
popped up appeared, some conscientious neighborhood resident took it upon themselves to paint over the penis with white spray paint. They covered the unsightly member with a series of circles and curlicues until it its turgid form was no longer recognizable. All was again right with the world.
Unfortunately, the penis repainter used an inferior spray paint and, with the recent combination of sun and rain and sun and rain, most of the covering paint has washed away, leaving behind the sad spectacle you see below: a spurting penis with two dead cartoon eyes for balls.
Now as to how we neighborhood folk are doing: we’re bearing up. On our nightly walks, we still say hello to one another as we dutifully ignore the raging spoogemonster beneath our feet. But it wears. It wears on the spirit and it wears on the soul.
Update: Shocking Development in the Ongoing Saga of the Giant Erupting Penis