The Ongoing Saga of the Giant Erupting Penis

About a month ago, tragedy struck our quiet suburban community. Some malicious individual, most likely a teenager, spray painted a huge penis on the street at the end of our block. As depicted, this particular penis was in a high state of arousal; indeed, it was captured at the moment of ejaculation. Now, it’s hard difficult to tell from the photo, but this penis is big, at least the length of a small car, if one includes the ejaculate. In terms of orientation, the penis lays runs perpendicular to the flow of traffic, like the speed bump from hell. It looks like a snake sunning itself on the hot asphalt. Perhaps a Spitting Cobra.

About two weeks after it first popped up appeared, some conscientious neighborhood resident took it upon themselves to paint over the penis with white spray paint. They covered the unsightly member with a series of circles and curlicues until it its turgid form was no longer recognizable. All was again right with the world.

Unfortunately, the penis repainter used an inferior spray paint and, with the recent combination of sun and rain and sun and rain, most of the covering paint has washed away, leaving behind the sad spectacle you see below: a spurting penis with two dead cartoon eyes for balls.

Now as to how we neighborhood folk are doing: we’re bearing up. On our nightly walks, we still say hello to one another as we dutifully ignore the raging spoogemonster beneath our feet. But it wears. It wears on the spirit and it wears on the soul.

More to come follow.

Update: Shocking Development in the Ongoing Saga of the Giant Erupting Penis

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5 Responses to The Ongoing Saga of the Giant Erupting Penis

  1. Dan Bain says:

    Love it! The post, I mean. Not penis. I don’t love penis. Well, I guess I love having a penis. Of my own. Not having someone else’s. Is it getting warm in here?

  2. I may love penis, you know Penis generally, but I don’t like to have to try to avert my eyes and engage in conversation with my daughter when we walk by this particular penis on the ground. Maybe I’m just a prude. Have you ever been to Athens (Greece, not Georgia)? Because blatant penis worship is abundant. Penisii are on full display all over the place. Not flesh penisii, but you know, photos and sculptures, postcards and the like.
    Great post. Maybe my day will go well since it started with a penis.

  3. pt dismal says:

    spitting cobra is a great yoga pose, too.


  4. Pingback: Random Musings–just sit on down and think « twinklysparkles

  5. Pingback: Shocking Development in the Ongoing Saga of the Giant Erupting Penis | Happy Valley News Hour

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