The Chastity Diadem

Slate manages to find two adults who have never read a word of the Harry Potter novels nor seen any of the films and sends them off to see the last film in the series. Asked to summarize the plot of the last film (prior to seeing it), one of them came up with this:

Mourning the passing of Ginger [Ron], Harry vows to use his cloak of invisibility to finally smite the evil Voldemort, who killed Harry’s parents with CGI effects in the third installment, and enlists the help of Hermione, who brings to the table a killer flight spell and together they vanquish the faceless lord of evil before full pubescence sets in.

Essentially correct.

And after they’ve see the movie, this:

JS: I did have a few quibbles though. Maybe this plays better in the books, but I gotta say—wand warfare seems really lame to me. Compared with, say, lightsaber duels.

JG: Firmly agree.

JS: Sorry, you can have the scariest faceless-face, but when you pull out a little stick and point it at me, I’m laughing, not trembling.

Agreed. If there’s anything lamer than a wand war, I don’t know what it could be. Actually, I think most of Voldemort’s problems can be traced back to his use — the dude does not keep a firm grip on his wand! His entire stance is lazy, lackadaisical. I really do think that if he had bothered to put some Stikum or hockey tape on the handle of his wand then maybe things would have worked out better for him.

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4 Responses to The Chastity Diadem

  1. pt dismal says:

    the first page of their little dialogue is pretty boring–it seems fake. two editors would sound like that talking? probably tweeted it to each other.

    anyhoo–i’m a “potter virgin” so i’m not impressed that two other people have never read or seen it. it’s a book for children, right? what is so weird about adults knowing nothing about it?


  2. kamper says:

    To me, the books read like she’s describing a movie she’s watching. But who am I to argue with several billion dollars?

  3. pt dismal says:

    you are the kamper, dammit! you could argue with a trillion dollars! a bazillion!


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