Roll up for the Griftical Mystery Tour

Sarah Palin has loaded her brood into an RV and embarked on some sort of cross-country Kerouacian adventure, only instead of searching for all that raw land that rolls in one unbelievable huge bulge over to the West Coast, she’s grifting Teabaggers for their spare change.

Lamestream Media reporters are having a lot of difficulty covering these events because, a. Palin won’t tell them where she is headed next and, b. when she gets there she says things like this:

“This isn’t a campaign bus. This is a bus to be able to express to America how much we appreciate our foundation, and to invite more people to be interested in all that is good about America.”

“This is a bus to be able to express to America how much we appreciate our foundation.”

Noble words indeed.

Ever the kind soul, TBogg has put together the following template that reporters can use to cover every one of these events. You can thank him here.

Tonight, as the sun set, we gathered to (reflect/count the days take/get wasted) and were reminded why Americans (can feel great pride/can be sheared like sheep/remain mindless obese TV zombies with little knowledge or interest in the world) in this amazing country of ours. These people are the (greatness of America/wind beneath my wings/lifeblood of my ongoing scam) and without them I would not (have this great faith in the future of America/be living large/buying a meth compound in Arizona).

And that’s what this (tour/publicity stunt/grift) is all about.

(Send money/send money/send money) Also, Jesus. Too

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6 Responses to Roll up for the Griftical Mystery Tour

  1. Pingback: History Repeats the Old Conceits | Happy Valley News Hour

  2. I can forgive a lot of things, but don’t put The Beatles and/or Kerouac together with Palin again, ‘kay?

    I’m more reminded of the lyric “I’m a loser, baby….”

    Love you, babe! SWAK on Twenty today!

  3. pt dismal says:

    yeah, i gotta second twinkly on this one–the kerouac / beatles thing, not the SWAK, which i dont understand but it sounds like something marital and dirty.

    it looks more like a keseyian road trip, what with the bus / rv and all. and the merry pranksters were a deliberate performance angling for media attention, albeit from the left rather than far right. a kerouacian road trip is spontaneous and only documented later in a three-week benzedrine fueled haze of typing.

    viva ti jean!


  4. Lurker111 says:

    I don’t mean to be a grammar Nazi, but adding suffixes to words ending in a hard “c” is actually an interesting exercise. If you’re adding something beginning with “i” or “e”, you should insert a “k” separator first, e.g.:

    picnicking, picnicked
    trafficking, trafficked
    shellacking, shellacked

    and the point of this note:


    is probably the better spelling for that word.

    At one time I collected a list of words, suffixable, ending in a hard “c”, but that has been lost to the ages. Oh: just remembered “frolicking.”

  5. Lurker, I like grammer Nazis. If not grammer Nazis, then who?

    How about this, though? How about dropping a “k?” Look: fucking=fucing. Weird, hunh?

    I did think “Kerouacian” looked sort of fuced up.

  6. kamper says:

    I actually struggled with this but the web seemed to agree that Kerouacian was the preferred spelling. Damn you Internet!

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