Vote for the Iron Fist

Ian Murphy, the wag who pranked Scott Walker by claiming to be David Koch, volunteered to man the phone banks for Jane Corwin, who is his Republican opponent in New York’s 26th district. Murphy is running on the Green Party ticket.

Hijinks most definitely ensued:

“Hi, sir, my name’s Steve and I’m a volunteer for the Jane Corwin campaign–”

“Jesus!” a guy screams at me. “You know, I was thinking about voting for Corwin, but this is too much! You people have called me a dozen times in the last two days! I am sick of it!”

“But Jane Corwin wants to rule over you with an iron fist,” I calmly relay. “Don’t you crave strong leadership?”

“What?!” he balks. “An ‘iron fist’?”

“Yes,” I assure him. “These phone calls are just the beginning. When Jane’s in Congress she will do everything in her power to crush you mentally and physically.”

“Don’t call me again!” he says and slams down the receiver.

For those of you don’t know Ian Murphy, he’s definitely, um, edgy. His piece on the opening of the Creation Museum, in which he pretends to be a differently-abled individual in a wheelchair, has to be read to be believed, and almost makes me feel bad for the profoundly misguided folks who built that place.


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