Ted Nugent: Your hair has at some point been caught in a ceiling fan, boat propeller, or lathe.
The Rolling Stones: You own three cars and no stereo.
Canned Heat: You own three stereos and no car.
Bad Company: You have sustained several alcohol-related injuries involving sheetrock.
Rush: You carry a small flashlight everywhere, and use it at least three times a day.
From John Peck at McSweeneys.