Possible Fates for My Rural Mailbox

1. Death by snowplow
Likelihood:
December to March: pretty much 100%
April to November: not as low as you might expect

2. Destroyed by teenager wielding a baseball bat
Likelihood:
June, July, August: moderate to high
September to May: lower

3. Destroyed and/or urinated on by drunk college students
Likelihood:
Months of May & September and Homecoming Weekend: extremely high
All other times: low

4. Rust
Likelihood:
Inevitable

5. Replaced by Veeders Stainless Steel Locking Mailbox, made in America from brushed stainless steel and weighing in at a whopping 62 pounds.
Likelihood:
At $623 plus shipping, not bloody likely

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2 Responses to Possible Fates for My Rural Mailbox

  1. pt dismal says:

    dont be such a cheap-ass, kamper, and stop buying those made in china mailboxes! why do you hate your country?
    ptd

  2. Spit, you forgot spit in the mailbox. Ewwww.

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