The 50 Most Loathsome Americans of 2010

Meant to post this a few days ago. The Beast’s annual roundup of loathsomeness, American-style. Funny as always, but, man, if I had to sustain this level of bile in my system all the time my stomach would corrode. Two who actually deserve the venom are below. The rest are here.

24) Sharron Angle
Charges: Imagine the most viscerally repugnant, deeply moronic and pathologically regressive position one could hold on any given issue. Good. Now imagine Sharron Angle cackling maniacally at whatever comparatively feeble hippie shit you came up with. This hyper-religious thing once crusaded against a high school football jersey because she thinks black is a wicked color. Whatever the issue—gay rights, women’s rights, human rights, Social Security, Scientology, science, Latino v. Asian, etc. ad infinitum—Sharron Angle’s backward position would embarrass most medieval peasants.
Aggravating factor: “Well it’s to defend ourselves. And you know, I’m hoping that we’re not getting to Second Amendment remedies. I hope the vote will be the cure for the Harry Reid problems.”
Sentence: Elected Queen of the Mariana Trench.

21) James O’Keefe III
Charges: Like Sacha Baron Cohen mixed with G. Gordon Liddy’s fetid stool. Embodies every sniveling, Docker-clad College Republican to ever overlook the 9th fairway and obtusely bemoan lower class entitlements. A Breitbart disciple, he sparked the ruin of ACORN, an honorable advocacy group for the poor, by dressing like a pimp and editing like Leni Riefenstahl. In college, he decried learning about foreign cultures because he considered it an affront to American values. Those same values went unperturbed by the white supremacist meetings he’s attended. This year, he got busted trying to mess with Senator Landrieu’s office phones and attempting to “seduce” CNN’s Abbie Boudreau on a boat with fuzzy handcuffs and porn. Lately he’s been stalking a New Jersey special ed provider in order eliminate any remaining doubt about what an asshole he is.
Aggravating factor: “It is time, as Hannah said as we walked out of the ACORN facility, for conservative activists to ‘create chaos for glory.’”
Sentence: Sold into Bacha Bazi.

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One Response to The 50 Most Loathsome Americans of 2010

  1. pt dismal says:

    hey kamper, no. 37 are your faves, the ICP. that must’ve hurt just a little.


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