The Unbearable Lameness of Bryan

Poor Bryan Fischer. If there were an Olympic gold medal awarded for Internet dumbassery then Bryan would be Michael Phelps, Mark Spitz and Olga Korbut all rolled into one. You may remember Bryan from such instant Internet classics as “The only time I’ve been in a mosque was to pray that God destroys it,” “Bear attacks are a sign that our land is cursed,” and the old favorite, “the American standard ought to be a minimum of three children per married couple.” And all of those were just in the month of November. Imagine what we’d discover if we traveled back in the archives all the way back to the month of October (DOH!: “Gay teen suicides are caused by being gay.”)

By these standards, his latest is actually rather mild: We have ‘feminized’ the Congressional Medal of Honor by awarding it to soldiers for saving people instead of killing people.

When we think of heroism in battle, we used the think of our boys storming the beaches of Normandy under withering fire, climbing the cliffs of Pointe do Hoc while enemy soldiers fired straight down on them, and tossing grenades into pill boxes to take out gun emplacements.

That kind of heroism has apparently become passe when it comes to awarding the Medal of Honor. We now award it only for preventing casualties, not for inflicting them.

So the question is this: when are we going to start awarding the Medal of Honor once again for soldiers who kill people and break things so our families can sleep safely at night?

The inevitable pile-on that has ensued in the comments section is something to behold, if only because Bryan has caused people of all possible ideological stripes to join together in the righteous cause of calling Bryan Fischer a dumbass.

Not content to stay down (see below), Bryan today put thumbs to keyboard to pen his comeback to all the haters: “The Feminization of the Medal of Honor, Part II.”

His conclusion: “The bottom line here is that the God of the Bible clearly honors those who show valor and gallantry in waging aggressive war in a just cause against the enemies of freedom, even while inflicting massive casualties in the process. What I’m saying is that it’s time we started imitating God’s example again.”

Stay down, Bryan. Stay down!

[Props=Sadly, No!]

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One Response to The Unbearable Lameness of Bryan

  1. crisi-tunity says:

    Perfect video to go with this dude.

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