Looks Like Your Bizkits Will Remain Limp This Summer

As if life wasn’t hard enough in these times of trouble, now I read that Limp Bizkit has canceled its summer tour. The only glimmer of happiness in the announcement is the reason for the cancellation, which is that there simply not enough venues in these United States to contain the awesomeness that is Limp Bizkit live.

“Basically, Limp is not an amphitheatre band,” Fred Durst, always the most visionary of Bizkits, mused in between aphorisms on his Twitter feed. “We like to see less seats in front of the stage and more floor filled with fans going bananas. It’s just more fun for all of us that way. Some bands are meant to be seen mainly sitting down, but definitely not Limp Bizkit.”

Not to pile on, but here’s what you’ll be missing. Oh well, we’ll always have Woodstock ’99.

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This entry was posted in Happy Valley Hoedown, Humor. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Looks Like Your Bizkits Will Remain Limp This Summer

  1. twinkly sparkles says:

    I don’t need to prove my worth with masturbatory guitar solos. I have a uterus.

  2. pt dismal says:

    oh, that’s why “limp” is in their name.

    “shag my friends tonite!”

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