That’s Not a Corpse, That’s Our Carryon

Two women have been arrested on suspicion of trying to smuggle the body of a dead relative onto an easyJet flight to Germany. The pair reportedly told staff at Liverpool John Lennon airport that the 91-year-old man was asleep, after pushing him into the terminal in a wheelchair and covering his face with sunglasses.

Their excuses:

  • We don’t like to use the word ‘dead.’ We prefer ‘indefinitely delayed.’
  • I’ve had it with these mother****ing corpses on this mother****ing plane!
  • He was alive until he ate the chicken parmesan.
  • He’s not dead, he’s German. Easy mistake.
  • When security told us to remove his shoes, we thought they said soul.
  • We knew it was wrong, but we really wanted that extra bag of pretzels.

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