This Is Not a Woman’s Ass on a Wooden Table

Try this experiment. Take off all your clothes (Important Note: if you are at the office or reading this in a public place, WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE HOME to perform this experiment). Are you naked? Good. Go sit on a wooden table. Now look down. Does that mass of flesh-colored pancake that used to be your thighs and ass look anything like the hindquarters of the lovely lass pictured below? I didn’t think so.

The woman in question is former ‘Bond’ girl Eva Green, and the photo, which appeared in the UK magazine Tatler, is a recreation of a 1973 photo of Charlotte Rampling taken by Helmut Newton.

After careful and prolonged study of said photograph, I would propose one of the following three scenarios:
1. Eva Green’s ass is made of titanium
2. Eva Green has discovered some sort of anti-gravity technology, which she is selfishly refusing to share with the rest of us
3. This photograph has been heavily Photoshopped

(The funny part is that, in the original photo, Charlotte Rampling’s butt is as it should be, i.e., flat, which only highlights the digital shenanigans used to unflatten [rounden?] Eva’s posterior in the photo below.)

Eva Green

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2 Responses to This Is Not a Woman’s Ass on a Wooden Table

  1. Given that we’re speaking about things within the region of This Is Not a Woman’s Butt on a Wooden Table | Happy Valley News Hour, Although the classifications of natural law and positivism are regularly used, it is fairly important to remember that they cover a very wide range of academic opinion. Even inside each camp, you’ll discover those veering towards considerably more liberal or more conservative understandings, and there is also naturally a grey region. Having said that, academics and philosophers may be enveloped by one of the categories on the basis of certain basic principles inside their writings and opinions.

  2. brian says:

    I think she’s just clenching, and has low fat content. The male butt (with lower fat) doesn’t spread when clenched. I’d like to continue to believe Ms Green has a tight ass and don’t like to be distracted by reasoned arguments/demonstrations to the contrary.

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