The ‘bucket list’ craze continues to sweep the country. Inspired by a mediocre Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman movie from last year, Americans are rushing to compile their own bucket lists — a compendium of things one wants to do before one kicks the bucket.
One local man, Jerry Bizmunth, a 33-year-old UPS driver, got into the act this week, taking the opportunity to take stock of his existence, to plumb his deepest regrets, explore his most debilitating fears, and give voice to his loftiest dreams, creating in the process a deeply spiritual document that is as much a testimony to his life’s journey thus far as it is a list of hopes for the future. Scribbled on the back of a Subway napkin during the last ten minutes of his lunch hour, Mr. Bizmunth’s bucket list consists of eight sexual acts he would like engage in before he dies (and preferably within the next six months or so).
Jerry Bizmunth’s Bucket List
- Oriental girl
- Black girl
- White girl other than _____, _____, or _____. (Ed. note: names redacted for privacy)
- Two girls (while sober this time)
- Think it’s called the Flying Buttress?
- Mile High Club (with a partner this time)
- More backdoor