If you are a connoisseur of Bad Cinema then you no doubt are already intimately familiar with Neil LaBute’s lamentable 2006 remake of The Wicker Man, starring Nicholas Cage as a detective who gets more than he bargained for when he searches for a lost little girl on a mysterious island. Being a big fan of the original, the Kamper saw the remake during the first week of its theatrical run, and sometime around the time Nick Cage showed up in the bear outfit, I realized I was witnessing much more than just another bad movie. Sure enough, in just a few short years, The Wicker Man has emerged as perhaps the preeminent camp classic of our age — the Citizen Kane of cruddy movies, The Rules of the Game of cinematic schlock. Yes, yes, I know that there have been many bad movies released since then, but it’s a good bet that long after current Razzie favorite I Know Who Killed Me is just another remaindered DVD hogging precious shelf space at the local Blockbuster, The Wicker Man will still be prompting incredulous viewers to ask, “What was that all about?!”
And, like all provocative and transgressive art, The Wicker Man invites, nay, demands a response from the viewer. Below are just a few of those responses, courtesy of YouTube.
For those of you who haven’t seen the movie (or, more likely, have purged it from your memory), lets begin with the 3 Minute Wicker Man, from ninjacarwash.
And now, because too much is never enough, lets move on to the Best Scenes from The Wicker Man, from enoonsti.
How about Wicker Man recut as a comedy? This one is from JasonSly.
Finally, Mike Nelson and the boys from Rifftrax have their way with The Wicker Man.
So, in conclusion, two points to keep in mind:
1. Don’t let the remake prevent you from seeing the original.
2. Killing me won’t bring back your goddamn honey! Not the bees! Not the bees!! Arghhhhh!!! The beeeeees!!!