Cancer Research Again?! What’d You Do with the 25 Bucks I Gave You Last Year?

Alright, this is getting friggin’ ridiculous! Another year, another call from you cancer research people. I just gave you twenty-five bucks last year! And I gave at least twenty the year before. So I’ve got to ask the obvious question, which is what in the hell are you doing with all that money? Now in my job as a salesman for Route Nine Liquor and ATVs, I work strictly on commission, so you know I’ve got to show results before I collect the extra sharp cheddar. Maybe it’s time we tried that with you people. So how about showing some results before I pony up? Look, I’m not asking for any of the biggies — I’m not saying you’ve got to cure lung cancer or brain cancer or anything, but how about throwing us a bone? Something like, oh, say hemangioendothelioma? I’ll tell you what, sweetheart. You do that and this twenty-five bucks is yours.

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