Definition of Workout Expanded to Include Walk to Gas Station

In a last-ditch attempt to stick to his strict three-times-per-week workout schedule, South Amherst resident Ryan Hanson recently expanded his definition of workout to include a walk to the gas station to buy the newspaper. “It’s a half-mile there, half-mile back,” Hanson explained. “Perhaps it’s even a bit more, so maybe three-quarters there and three-quarters back. Call it a mile and a half total, give or take. That’s nothing to sneeze at.” Other activities now falling under the rubric of workout now include mowing the lawn, anything involving a rake, bringing cat litter in from the car, returning cans and bottles to the redemption center, hosing down the driveway, and some bowel movements.

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