The Index That Never Was, Now Is

One thing that Sarah Palin’s new book is lacking is an index. Oh, and thoughtful analysis. So two things that Sarah Palin’s book is lacking are — Oh, there’s also honest reflection. So, okay, three things that Sarah Palin’s book — Wait a minute, there’s also decent writing. Four things that Sarah —

Anyway, over at Slate, Christopher Beam has put together his own index to Sarah Palin’s book, and you can find it here.

Here is a representative sample, from E-F:

exclamation point, usage of, 4, 26, 120, 121, 122, 138, 150, 199, 207, 222, 223, 225, 233, 239, 241, 276, 302, 307

evolution
– skeptical views of, 217
– use of word “Neanderthal” despite, 30, 172

“experts,” wrongness of, 254, 289, 336, 375, 392

Facebook
– citation of as example of laudable free-market enterprise, 400
– utility of for calling out haters, 400

Glitter to Litter

During these tough economic times, we’re all seeking that one sure-fire investment. Which is why my portfolio right now is long in whiskers. That’s right, I’m talking cats, felines, kitties, pussies, le chat. Now, I’m not necessarily recommending that you convert your gold into cats, but should you wish to, here’s the site for you: Cats For Gold. But hurry, it’s probably illegal.

[Props=B3ta]

Commonsense Answerthings

Sarah Palin was flogging her book on Rush Limbaugh’s show a few days ago, and, in answering about a dozen questions, she managed to say some combination of “commonsense,” “conservative,” and “solutions” no fewer than 25 times.

Every time she says the word commonsense, a moose gets its wings. Or wait, no, that’s when she shoots it.

A Coupla Jokes

Sorry for the light posting (traveling this week — I do have a job, people), so here are couple of jokes. Warning: the language can get a little blue.

With 12.1 Seconds to Spare

Here is a fun game. Can you guess the Wikipedia article being quoted before your time runs out?

Quizipedia.

Courtesy of Jim Blackler. My record so far is three out of four — it all depends on the luck of the draw.

[Props=B3ta]

Comic Book Guy Writes a Book Review

From Kyle Ryan’s review of John Ortved’s book The Simpsons: An Uncensored, Unauthorized History at the Onion A/V Club:

Before the foreword, preface, and introduction have passed, hardcore fans will have several reasons to question Ortved’s authoritativeness: Patty Bouvier is gay, not Selma; Groening’s Life In Hell comic was not based on a one-eared rabbit named Binky (his son, Bongo, has one ear—and Ortved misidentifies him in another reference); Maggie Simpson never “killed a man.” That’s before “Wayland” Smithers arrives, among numerous others problems it’d be pointless to list.

Watch Sullivan’s Head Explode . . . 3. . .2. . .1

I’m sure that the excerpts from Sarah Palin’s book will provide happy comic fodder for many days, but just off the bat I was struck by this one, which I’m sure will cause Sullivan to blow a gasket:

She [Palin] writes about the “jaded aura” of professional campaign aides and how McCain’s entourage limited her access to the media, leading to allegations – unfounded, she says – that she was avoiding reporters.

Unfair?! Sarah Palin has not held a single press conference since she was announced as the Vice Presidential candidate. Until she had a book to flog, her only interactions with the media have been carefully controlled wankfests with partisan hacks, rambling pronouncements, or bizarre photo-ops. In fact, she is so afraid of being quoted, her recent address of a Wisconsin Right to Life group included the following list of riders:

• No exit and re-entry allowed
• No cell phones
• No recording devices
• No video or still cameras
• No laptops
• No photos or recording allowed

And just to make it weird, the talk also included these prohibitions:
• No literature distribution
• No posters or banners
• No strollers or car seats
• No carry-in food or beverages

No strollers or carseats? How is that pro-family?

Toxic Children

Another excerpt from the Happy Valley News Hour.

Welcome Home

In honor of Veteran’s Day, Mental Floss has put together a compilation of videos of dogs welcoming home soldiers who’ve been deployed. Geez, if these videos don’t melt your hard heart, you’re made of stone.

Now, as a counter-point, the video below shows every cat in America welcoming home its owner.

[Props=Balloon Juice]

Ambiguous No More

College Humor has resolved all of those ambiguous movie endings for you. I actually like this version of No Country for Old Men better.

And another similar one from a while back was “If All Movies had Cellphones.”