Remember Victoria Jackson from the old SNL days? Well, she’s now a conservative culture critic over at Andy Breitbart’s Big Hollywood, the official home of Hollywood’s disenfranchised, misunderstood, mistreated, marginalized Republican minority. Do you know how I can tell that the column was not ghost-written? Because it reads like this:
Well, today I walked out of a Judd Apatow movie crying. It was the scene where the obese homosexual is fortune-telling by looking at the bowels of a sheep that has been sodomized by a person. The movie was “Year One.” I tried to be open-minded as I watched the first 20 minutes of masturbation, fornication, circumcision jokes, continual penis references, bestiality, violence, and Biblical blasphemy. I told myself this was a PG-13 movie and the writers were “lost” so they didn’t know how vulgar they were being. I looked at the ten-year-old and his father sitting next to me. I must be old-fashioned or something. But, then I noticed no one was laughing. No one was walking out either. I was hoping that the crude jokes were flying over the heads of the poor children who were sitting there wide-eyed and innocent. My daughter is 15 and she loves Jack Black and the guy from “Juno,” so I thought we could have a Mom/teenager date. I asked myself, “Vicki, is this movie making you feel good?” Myself replied, “This movie is making me angry, very sad, hopeless, and dirty-feeling.” As the onscreen obese gay man poked at the bloody intestines and told the fifth anal sex joke, I looked at my daughter, and we got up and walked out. I started crying in the parking lot as we walked to our car. I am not from this world. I am an alien.
Those continual penises will get you every time.
And don’t forget to check out Vicky’s cogent analysis of the Obama Administration (hint: HE’S A COMMUNIST!!).
You know who else walked out of Year One? Lindsay from Videogum. Why’d she cut out? Because a. it was terrible, and b. there weren’t enough Biblical in-jokes. Geez, there’s just no pleasing some people.
[Props=Film Drunk]
3 responses so far ↓
Myself // June 26, 2009 at 9:10 am |
Reply: WTF?
Bob in NC // July 3, 2009 at 9:32 pm |
Sounds like the movie sucked – I’d walk the fuck out too- what’s the big deal. Jack Black (is that even his real name) movies generally suck so there is a trend here. I saw his ‘war’ movie, what a POS.
WRT the reference about Barry O – she’s right. That fuck wants all of our money to pass around.
Dennis D // October 23, 2009 at 4:28 pm |
So far we know of 2 known communists who have been hired by Obama. Van Jones and Anita Dunne. JFK would have pissed on Van Jones not hired him. What has happened to America?